My heart hurts today. It's like a burning in my chest, an empty hole. I don't what to feel. Except for pain. I know I made the right decision, but yet I cling to that hope. That hope that things will get better, go back to normal. But I know that it never will.
I know what they mean when they say the "thin line between love and hate." I'm walking it. I love him with all of my heart, and yet I hate him for what he's done to me. How do you walk away when your heart is so firmly planted? It doesn't want to let go, or even recognize that this must end. It wants him to try, get on bended knee and beg. But even if he does, will I ever recover? I never did from the past. I thought I would. And yet years later the images still haunt my mind. Is there such thing as self induced amnesia? Let me forget him, what he's done and most of all what he means to me. I fear that will be the only way I will get through this.
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