Insomniac Part 1

Sighs…
I’ve been staring at the time..
Time to rest my eyes
The red lines are getting brighter and brighter
But that damn clock
It still ticks and it tocks
And it’s four am?
God damn.
Where does the time go?
The longer I stare
The more things I see
That leave
And aren’t there
The sun hits the horizon
And suddenly I’m smiling
I made it through another night
So I’m just gonna keep on writing…

So about this clock
That won’t fucking stop
How dare it tick my time away!
I’ve got nothing left
But the red lines
That stain my eyes
And the bags that hold the teardrops
Every night I cry
But hell, the suns up!
Wipe up all those tear drops
Time to be a happy fuck
Or pretend to be
At least

This mish mash
Makes sense in my head
A place hard to find
But worth it once you do
There’s so much shit crammed in there
Impossible to decipher
What’s left, wrong and right there
But in my head is safe
From criticism
So that’s where it’ll stay
A place where I can keep it
Day after day
Until the moon pushes the sun out of the sky
And I’m left alone
While the world sleeps
Staring at the time

These nights though lonely
Do not lack production
It’s late
But still I function
Happily pen in hand
Everything is just grand
When the words are flowing
Doing alright and all-knowing
Like I haven’t a care in the world
A normal night for a normal girl
It isn’t five am
And I’m not waiting to see the light
I’m simply writing away
Through my days, through my life
Until everything goes away
And I’m left with nothing but this…
This fucking paper?
Man I’ll be pissed.

These words mean nothing to you
But see
It was a hell of an effort
To get them out of me
So appreciate them please
They were hard to write
Cause this is what I did
While you were dreaming at night

I won’t praise the moon
Anytime but when it leaves
Cause that’s when I’m happiest
Between the sun and me
And even if my sunshine
Hides behind some clouds
I’ll be more than happy
To hide away too
I’ll be good and proud

Things should be happening now
As I close my eyes
I should feel a wave of exhaustion
Instead of curiosity of the time
The soft rhythmic ticks and tocks
Keeps me fixated on that clock
Wondering, wondering, will it ever stop…
The sun hits the horizon and suddenly I’m smiling

Because I have made
Something more to leave behind…
One more little map
To the insight of my mind
But for now as you read it
I’ll tuck it way in the back
For everything comes out at night…
If you’re an insomniac